Sunday, January 24, 2010

Critique Request- THE ELEANOR STORY




On her fourteenth birthday, Ellie Cummings had one amazing, seventy-two second kiss and three days later she was officially the slut of St. Vincent’s Academy.

Considering Ellie does nothing but drop her eyes to the floor when a boy even looks in her direction, Sister Clarisse’s message swam straight over her head. That is until the movie following the nun’s speech.

Ellie was in an utter state of panic the moment the words flashed across the screen:

The Eleanor Story: A Story Of A Girl Who’s Reputation Got In The Way Of Her Relationship With God.

Translate that into eighth grade terms- the girl was easy and boy crazy and she’d rather be kissing than praying. And she had her name! All Ellie can do is hope everyone will forget The Movie.

It might have worked if Justin Sampson, Ellie’s best summer pal hadn’t transferred to her school.

It only takes three days and she has officially gone from Ellie to Eleanor and the mysterious HailMary22 has created a blog in her honor: Guess Eleanor Cummings Next Man. Rumors and lies fill the pages of the blog and Ellie can’t escape from an outcome she never asked for.

Now she has to the make the decision, hide from HailMary22 or stand up for herself for the first time in her life.

TYPE OF EDITS: Any and all suggestions. Story would be number one and then miss use of words, telling rather than showing. It is a more girlie book (though I would mind having a male opinion) and someone who has read or understands YA.

CONTACT INFO: wannabewriter2009 at gmail  dot com


  1. I would like to read this! I can try being a critique, too. I am teacasey at gmail dot com.

    Also, you have probably heard of this already, but is having a YA contest which I'm planning to enter. You should too!
    Here is the link:

  2. abc,

    Thanks! I'll send you an email with chapter 1



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