Critique Request-RUDY TOOT-TOOT

TITLE: RUDY TOOT-TOOT

WORD COUNT: 16,000 words

GENRE: Children's chapter book (ages 7-10)

DESCRIPTION: Rudy Toot-Toot has a special power, almost like a super hero: he can fart better than anyone in the whole world.  It comes natural when you are born on a bean farm.  His problem is that while he can fart on command, he can't ever hold it in when he needs to...or control the power of a Big One.  After one monstrous emission scares all the customers away from the family Bean Market, it's up to Rudy to find a way to use his special power to lure them back, before the bank takes away their home.


CRITIQUE REQUESTED: What's funny and what's not.  In earlier drafts I tried to avoid being crass, and I ended up avoiding humor as well.  Also looking for comments on the flow and the voice in general.

CONTACT INFO: rjdaley101071 at gmail dot com

Critique Request- Mylar, Children's Picture Book

TITLE:Mylar

WORD COUNT: 920

GENRE: Children's Picture Book

DESCRIPTION: Today is the best day of Mylar’s life. Today he is being taken home. Mylar, a fun-loving balloon, is finally given a warm home. Just as soon as he gets comfortable, he is swept away and loses his best friend, Jamie. This journey follows Mylar as he searches favorite children’s play spots, like the ballpark and playground, for his best friend, while battling Mother Nature and loss of hope. Despite feeling down and giving up, Mylar manages to find his friend and home, much to the help of the reader rooting aloud for him.

CRITIQUE REQUESTED: General feedback, everything, and/or anything

CONTACT INFO: jonathonarntson at gmail dot com