Saturday, November 6, 2010

Critique Requested: All Because of You

TITLE: All Because of You

WORD COUNT:87,000

GENRE: Thriller

DESCRIPTION: Please read full query here.

CRITIQUE REQUESTED: First chapter (26 pages), primarily looking for critique on the hook and introduction of protagonist and antagonist.

CONTACT INFO: www.nataschanichole.blogspot.com or by email: natascha@jaffa.name

2 comments:

  1. That's the fact, Jack: death is #@!!☆ smug and inevitable; alas! our demise shall befall U.S. all. Some go to the other side while most never return. If you wanna continue, girl, I'll explain how I actually saw the other side and returned...

    CAUTION: Our 24-wildchild, flame-thrower, germ-warFAIR-blogs are a total wasteOtime ...yet, a total wealth of bottomless inferences, nuanced sophistication, and synonymous metaphors which shall creep stealthily across thy brain like the vivid, brazen dawn. And, frankly, I wouldn't be too concerned about what the bionic, bloated, whorizontal world thot about me, dear; I'd be much more worried about what JESUS shall say at the General Judgement.

    First, why else does a moth fly from the night than to a bold, attractive candle Light? Don't let His extravagant brilliance be extinguished, girl. You're creative, yes? Then fly-away with U.S. to the antidote: apathy is the glove in which evil sticks his bloody hand.

    Meet this ex-mortal Upstairs for the most extra guhroovy, pleasure-beyond-measure, party-hardy-reality-show-addiction 24/7 you DO NOT wanna miss, where the Son never goes down from a VitSee-ing, ultra-passionate-YOUTHwitheTRUTH in which you'll find nonillions X nonillions X nonillions... of deluxe-cubed-HTTP (<-- pi) opportunities for enveloping, engulfing excitement; where you'll looove an endless eternity of aplomBOMBs falling ALL over thy incredible, indelible cranium, as you'll have an XtraXcitinXpose with an IQ much higher than K2 resulting in an explosion of obscene exuberance, time without end.

    Last, here's what the prolific, exquisite GODy sed: 'the more you shall honor Me, the more I shall bless you' -the Infant Jesus of Prague.

    Go git'm, girl. You're incredible.

    ReplyDelete

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